Change – Inevitable, Wonderful and Scary

So, change is happening all around us, in us, constantly! It’s obvious and yet … we resist and fear it.

Reasons we fear change include:

  • The unknown
  • We can’t know the outcome
  • We feel we are not in control of it
  • We run old life-scrips that focus on the past instead of imagining possibilities and realizing potential.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old,

but on building the new” – Socrates

The Beauty of change

I love the language of change: The winds of change – The turning of the tides – A sea change.

It often relates to nature – the turning of the seasons is one of the most sensational changes for us in the temperate regions of the word.

What about changing direction?

You have invested time and energy into a particular path or endeavour – then, gradually, or all of a sudden, there is the realization that you should change direction – do something different – or perhaps in a different way.

This is scary and we resist – we procrastinate, deny, hide away.

However, staying where we are can be riskier than changing.

Whether it’s in your relationships, career or other life situations, you risk stagnating, fossilizing or being left behind if you don’t change. We need to continue to grow and move with life instead of resisting it.

We are hardwired to keep to the path we know and to maintain our familiar patterns, even if they are not bringing us happiness. We avoid uncertainty – it’s a survival thing.

Even though fear of change can distort our thinking and cloud our reason, we can learn to adapt and become flexible. Step by step, day by day, through changing our mindset and perspective, we can thrive on change.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” -Maya Angelou

 

We imagine our lives to be one way – we create a narrative of our past life, how it is now and how it will be. It is just a story.

You create your life as it is. Keep growing, keep going.

. “If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward” – Martin Luther King 

Be present to your thoughts about change

  • Recognize your fears – what are they?
  • Is there any basis to the fears?
  • Be rational – what is realistic and what is pure fantasy?
  • Are you overwhelmed by thinking about everything you want to change at once?
  • What will happen if you don’t change or move?
Remind yourself daily:
  • You and everyone you know will, someday, die – Memento Mori – Remember Death, it is inevitable.

  • Meditate on impermanence – this is a central tenet in Buddhism. The cycles of life, birth and death. All is impermanent. Building crumble, stars explode.
  • Fear of change is normal – relax, it’s OK to feel this way, but don’t get stuck there.
  • We all make mistakes. If the direction you take doesn’t work out – then take another.
  • Some people appear to have more choices due to life-circumstances – but we can all choose how we respond to change.
  • We can choose to have the courage to change and the compassion to live fully.
  • You can’t control others – so expect the unexpected.
  • Don’t give up – keep going – and enjoy.

The joy of change

  • Watching children grow and change
  • Seasons
  • Sunrise and sunset
  • Rivers
  • The sea
  • Clouds
  • Discoveries – science technology
  • Our own change – moods and physical change
  • Learning new stuff
  • Seeing other people change, grow and succeed
  • Results of exercise and practice
  • Land formations
  • Flowers blooming – trees growing – autumn colour

Add your own … it’s an endless list. 

 

Coaching – it’s a change thing!

There are times when you know that the life you’re living is not the one you want. You know you want to change something but don’t know how. You are afraid that if you give up the job or the relationship, or whatever, and pursue a new path, it will be …. a disaster!.

Are you struggling with a decision? Unsure of what to do next? A coach can work with you to bridge that gap between now and where you want to be, between the current situation and a better one.

Using tried and tested techniques we can work together and identify the barriers holding you back. You can become clear and confident, and using your own inner resources and wisdom you will create a step-by step plan to begin the process and embrace change.

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”

Harriet Tubman

 

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